open house

2024
3D pop-up zine
magazine clippings, cardstock paper, liquid glue
4 ⁹⁄₁₆ × 4 ⁹⁄₁₆ × 3 ⅜ inches (open); 2 ⁵⁄₁₆ × 3 ⅜ × ¾ inches (folded)

I tend to be procedural; I like to create outlines, identify factors, map out contingencies. This means I’m often (over)prepared for situations, which allows me to feel more present by the time I arrive. I sometimes feel so overwhelmed that I fixate on the plan and never reach the destination.

So I practice. I practice acknowledging my fear, letting her stay, having a conversation with her instead of shutting her down. I let myself plan, but I also check in with myself — is this still helping me, or am I acting out of panic, trying to regain a sense of agency?

Practicing emotional vulnerability inherently requires risk. I will never be able to run away from my fear of rejection, nor should I try to; she’s part of me, and she holds some of my heaviest and most visceral pain. She deserves to be in the room even if she only feels safe enough to watch from a distance, at least for right now.

open house is about cultivating internal intimacy and inviting people to know you as you are. The text reads, “I want to feel known, but what if I take up too much space? Healthy is unfamiliar, so avoidance seems safer than opening the door. Do you want to come over? Even if I’m not good at this yet?”